Friday, November 2, 2012

No longer conforming

I just got back to my dorm from volunteering at the Women Of Faith Conference and should be in bed, but instead I felt led to start a blog, for what reason I have no idea. I'm just going to go straight into what I was thinking tonight after hearing the powerful women at this conference. 
Ever since I came to college and even in high school I didn't care much for what everyone else wanted to do. Right now all my friends are out hitting up the frat houses and supposedly having a blast: laughing, socializing and, of course, most of them are getting hammered. Although some of my close friends don't drink, they still love to go out and party with the majority of campus that won't remember anything past their fifth shot. I've given an honest effort to try and find parties fun; however, I always feel uncomfortable and disappointed in myself. I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I didn't fit in and it was my fault. But why did this feeling only come on when the booze came out? I feel perfectly at home with all of them during the day when we hangout, but when the parties started I went running for the hills.
Then this reality hit me-
"Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."-Romans 12:2
What if I was made to feel uncomfortable in that situation? What if God was trying to tell me that I was different and I needed to stop wanting to conform to what everyone else told me I was suppose to do as a college kid? What if I was meant for more than this? 
The lies that the enemy planted deep in my heart were now being painfully picked out and replaced with the healing and peace that God had so carefully sown in the beginning. 
The lie that I was missing out and was an outcast is replaced with the truth that I am made for something more. 
The lie that I'm inferior and unliked is replaced with the truth that I am loved unconditionally and eternally by the most high King.
The lie that I will always be a last resort is replaced with the truth that I am worth dying for. 

I am a born misfit in this world because this is not my home. I refuse to conform to this world. I will only feel at home in the Kingdom of my God. 

Sammie Brewster :)